Author Archives: Repo Man

Hello Phoenix – Episode 3

In the long awaited third episode of “Hello Phoenix” Derek and Marty are trying to watch some television. Tyler doesn’t take too kindly to Derek hanging out with the guy who made fun of his moustache.

Tyler Conium as Tyler
Derek Masters as Derek
Chris Robertson as Marty
Created, Written, Directed, Produced by: Tyler Conium & Derek Masters


Hello Phoenix – Episode 2

In the second episode of “Hello Phoenix” Tyler grows a mustache for “Movember”, however he doesn’t take too kindly to Derek saying it suits him.

Starring: Tyler Conium & Derek Masters
Created, Written, Directed, Produced by: Tyler Conium & Derek Masters

Hello Phoenix – Episode 1

The series premiere of “Hello Phoenix” a new series of short webisodes starring Tyler Conium and Derek Masters.

In this initial webisode, Derek comes home dressed as Santa Claus, with some very ugly boots. Tyler no-likey the boots.

Tyler Conium as Tyler
Derek Masters as Derek
Created, Written, Directed, Produced by: Tyler Conium & Derek Masters

Hello Phoenix Trailer

Coming to YouTube December 20th. Tyler Conium and Derek Masters in a new series of comedic shorts.

Sports: The Rules

I discuss this topic often, much to my dismay. There are rules to being a sports fan. Rules that are often broken. This is more for the hardcore sports fans than the casual watcher.

Rule #1: Don’t Jump Ship
At some point or another, your home team sucks. You never abandon ship and decide some “other” team is now your favorite. You can criticize, even mock, but you still watch all of their games and still support them. In rare occasions, it’s even okay to stop watching their games all together if it’s too hard to stomach, but you never decide they are not your favorite team anymore.

Rule #2: Don’t Pick The Best
We all know somebody like this. They weren’t the biggest sports fan growing up, but somewhere along the lines they decided they wanted in on the conversation. At the time, their home team wasn’t very good, so they picked the perennial championship contender and picked them as their “favorite.” That’s the easy way out when it comes to sports. It’s easy to cheer for the best team and best players and gloat when they win. I don’t consider these fans to be too hardcore, because they couldn’t care less if this random team loses. They are simply looking for an excuse to brag when they win. It also sucks for them, because there is no real satisfaction in winning when a team like this wins because you don’t have any true passion invested in them.

Rule #3: Never Cheer For Rivals
If the regular season has ended and your team hasn’t made the playoffs (or has been eliminated) you NEVER cheer for your team’s rivals. A perfect example of this is Toronto fans cheering for Montreal, or Boston fans cheering for New York. If anything, you root for whoever they are playing against in hopes they will lose.

Rule #4: Players Don’t Dictate Favorite Team
Your favorite player just got traded or signed somewhere else in the off season. Wherever they landed is NOT your new favorite team. Until that player retires, he is now the enemy and so is his new destination. Many players provide years of great play, but once the front of their jersey has another city across it, the love is over until they retire.

Rule #5: Support Your Players
Not every player is Kobe Bryant, Sidney Crosby or Roy Halladay. Support the players you do have and hope they will perform. This is the hardest rule to follow of all of them, and I have broken it many times. Remember – not every guy is going to be great, but they are part of your TEAM. Nobody can win a championship on their own, and somewhere along the lines one of these players will do something important.

Of course, there are exceptions to every rule. In no particular order, I will list some below.

Your original home town team is always your favorite team even if you move. Thus, if you now live elsewhere, you obviously do not support the local team. They can be on your radar, but you never switch sides. In this instance, it is okay to boo the home team.

There wasn’t a local team when you started watching a particular sport so you have chosen a team from elsewhere. Usually you follow family lineage and root for who your parents/whoever rooted for. If this information is unavailable, you have been given one of the two only free passes to pick any team you want.

Lastly, if your team is relocated to another city. This can be a tough pill to swallow for many die hard sports fans, so it is understandable if you can’t bear to root for YOUR team in THEIR city. I understand. In this instance, you are given the other free pass to follow any team you desire.
There you have it folks, the rules to being a die hard sports fan. Agree? Disagree? You tell me.

Time For A Change

It’s time we change the calendar.

I don’t know the logistics, or the process behind doing this whatsoever. In fact, I can only assume it would be an absolute nightmare for the first few months if not a year. But, a change is needed.
Over time, our climate has shifted and the way the calendar was structured to be based on the seasons is outdated. We no longer see April showers until May. September remains one of the hottest months. Too many green Christmases (for places that have snow). It’s just out of whack by about a month.
What I propose is simple in theory, and then I’d let somebody else figure out how to actually execute it. We shift the entire calendar backwards by a month. So today would actually be April 12 instead of May 12. Sort of like a daylight savings, that doesn’t ever shift forward and gives us an extra month instead of hour. It would re-align the months/holidays with the weather it was initially set out to do.
So, who wants to figure out how to actually implement this?

Red Dead Redemption

I don’t get jacked up for many video games anymore. Aside from picking up a couple sports games every year, the only thing I really look forward to is a new installment of the Grand Theft Auto series.

This has changed. However, the same company (Rockstar) that is behind the GTA series is also behind Red Dead Redemption, so it’s not that much of a surprise.
For those unfamiliar with GTA, the game is so great because of its open-action format. You can essentially go wherever you want, and do whatever you want, whenever you want. It’s this time of non-linear gameplay that makes it so much fun and increases its replay value 10-fold. There is nothing worse than a game that has you jumping from A-B throughout. Then, once the game is done (which usually takes less than 10 hours) you never pop it in the system again.
The trailer above doesn’t really give the in’s and out’s of the game so much as show off the graphics and a couple funny lines, but a few of the other videos on Gamespot do a better job.
An open-ended Western style shoot ’em up game from Rockstar? Count me in!

Stupid Rogers

Once again Rogers Wireless just doesn’t seem to get it. I’ve known this for quite some time, and 2 years of being an iPhone owner with this company has only made things worse.

Time to up the ante with the ridiculously stupid data options for the iPad. If you want to sign up through Rogers for one of their plans, you have TWO options. You can either get 250MB of data for $15/month or 5GB for $35/month. Dumbest shit, ever. These are the two options you come up with?
It’s not even so much the pricing that pisses me off, but the amount of data. 250MB is next to nothing on an iPhone, nevermind how much more you would likely use on an iPad. I would have no problem plowing through this in a week, tops. And that’s doing very basic browing not even considering downloading and what not. Then, 5GB is on the complete opposite end of the spectrum. Unless you are on this thing constantly, and without ever having a WiFi connection, you simply do not need this much.
For myself and other iPhone users I talk to, we fall between the 1-1.5 GB of data usage on heavier months. So why on earth Rogers doesn’t offer some sort of middle ground is just another indication of their money-hungry business plans.
And also, yeah.. $35/month is more than I pay for the internet at home which allows me 10 times the bandwidth, on a computer that can do a hell of a lot more than check email and read books.
Thank you Rogers, for once again proving all you care about is money, and your customers come in a distant second.


Meet Sami Salo of the Vancouver Canucks. Last night he suffered one of the worst injuries any male on the planet could imagine.

He went down to block a slapshot, and the puck RUPTURED HIS TESTICLE. You have got to be kidding me. As men, we all understand that even the slightest tap below the belt causes unbelievable pain. To actually rupture a testicle.. oh my god.
Sorry girls, you just can’t understand this one.

Captain Canada

Last night Steve Nash entered his name among the legends of sports. We all remember Willis Reed playing on a broken leg. Curt Schilling pitching with blood filling his socks. Tiger Woods winning the US Open on a busted leg. Now we remember Steve Nash eliminating the San Antonio Spurs with one eye.

Nash was busted open above his right eye, requiring 6 stitches to close the wound. This would put most players on the bench, or in the ER for the remainder of the game. Not Captain Canada. Not only did he come back, but he had 10 points and 6 assists in the 4th quarter to propel the Suns to the series sweep, and in to the Western Conference Finals.
After the game he was quoted as saying that he couldn’t see a thing. Vision is, of course, a requirement in pro sports but especially so for the point guard. The guy with the ball in his hands more than half the time. The guy setting up every play and finding the open man. Unbelievable.
He’s won back-to-back MVP Awards, but this might be the defining moment in Nash’s career. That is until, he finally wins a championship.